When Is ‘Cheating’ Okay To Be Called ‘Cheating’

“Quiera Follo”

That was the text I found on Babe’s phone, SENT TO ANOTHER GIRL!. I googled out the translation in English, and my heart!  it didn’t mean ‘hey, come over so we can do a bible study’. Oh no, on the contrary, it means something my hands, have refused to type. I confronted him and he kept laughing because I was doing that thing where I move my head from side to side to make a point when I’m pissed af. It wasn’t even funny, it was hurtful. 

  1. He’s never said anything sexy to me in another language, not even in his own tribe, and there he was, going all spanishishly fancy on another girl. You can imagine. 
  2. The said girl was supposed to be out of his life for good and eternally banished to the deepest parts of the ‘we’ll never get in touch again ” zone. Like seriously!? You guys were not supposed to be talking, so how, why and when did you become chit-chatty with one another!? 
  3. He just shrugged and said he wasn’t cheating

Mouth open

Am I the one missing something here? You sent a very suggestive text to a girl that is not me (your girlfriend) and your justification is it’s not cheating because you didn’t touch her, you didn’t even see her. You were just fooling around and it was only over the phone??? 

So my highly esteemed very knowledgeable sir, what then is cheating? Because to me, you don’t have to rumple the sheets soaked in desperate lust, sweat and sin before it’s called cheating. The most I’ll allow is you acknowledging she’s pretty (no staring for more than 3 seconds), and that’s only because I like to think of myself as an advocate for honesty, but even so, do you have to say “she’s a good looking girl”  out loud like your opinion was asked? 

  • Don’t check her out
  • Don’t give or ask for her number 
  • No flirty conversations 
  • No imagining about her
  • Don’t be with me and act all single 
  • Don’t lead people on to think you are single 

So you see, cheating to me isn’t just the physical act of you-know-what, you can cheat mentally too like when you fantasize about Beyonce, but I guess I can easily let that go if it’s not some serious habit (though I see no reason why you should be fantasizing about anybody but me), well others like a suggestive text aren’t so easily dismissable. It only makes me restless with thoughts that your love and satisfaction with me is dwindling and you are looking for something more. Babe insisted it was harmless but the reality is for the first time, two years worth of solid trust was suddenly shaking and threatened. Words are powerful they say, so should words not be counted as cheating? If I texted a guy ‘I love you‘ with an intimate meaning, wouldn’t it be counted as being unfaithful? If I sent someone my nudes, wouldn’t it be wrong? Where is the justification in going out on a casual ‘hangout’ with a guy I know is ‘clearly’ interested in being more than ‘just’ friends? When is it okay to call it ‘Cheating’? Where does the line start and where does it end? 

No excuses sir/ ma

I’ve heard people give the lamest excuses for cheating, like it’s some overrated topic. Some guy told me’ he couldn’t keep eating the same soup‘, dude! like seriously!? Some people plead their case saying “it was an accident“, oh puh lease, cheating is not an accident, falling off a bike is an accident, you don’t just trip and fall into several other relationships while been in one already. 

Babe just ended up making me feel like I was being insecure, jealous and massively over reacting, and because I was drained of energy to continue a long argument that wasn’t going anywhere (and I was so close to bursting into tears which would have made him conform and admit I was right but only because he hated seeing me crying and hated it even more that he was the reason and not because he actually did believe that I am right), I let the matter rest. For now. 


5 thoughts on “When Is ‘Cheating’ Okay To Be Called ‘Cheating’

  1. I was suggested this blog by my cousin. I’m not sure whether this post is written by him as nobody else know such
    detailed about my trouble. You are amazing!


  2. […] the second time in my life I’ve done so. (to get the details of the first time, you can read this post). What I found on his phone shattered me, it broke me, it tore me up, ground me to powder, killed […]


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