Wolf In Sheep Clothing?
I’ve known Mr A for quite a while now, well not really known him, but we’ve been cool chat buddies. Like really ‘cool‘ chat buddies. He’s always online when I am and for the first time in a while, I’m actually chatting with a stranger that I seem to click with.
He’s in his late 30s, owns a Banga (palm fruit) business, has his own house, car – really doing well for himself. He’s unmarried with no kids though,which is something quite unlikely amongst men of his caliber (I should have taken this as my first cue to get suspicious), he said “nothing” when I asked why.
Trouble started when…
I ran into a bit of financial issue and I desperately needed help, so I asked my friend Mr A and sure enough he agreed to aid me with the amount. But he asked to meet with me at my place first (and this should have been my second). We haven’t really met offline and I felt it was only fair a request, besides we’re talking money here and with the rise of Internet scammers, we all know how sensitive it is.
So we pick a date and he shows up just in time, his perfume was weird, like burnt wood (at this point, I should have started suspecting foul play if I were paying attention to detail), I really couldn’t pin point it yet.
It’s all nice and normal until he starts professing love! (I should have kicked him out right then if I were any wiser) “Excuse me sir, forget we have chemistry, love isn’t like that“. I know he really likes me, but for a man that advanced, I guess I expected more maturity. Professing love to me on the first date (if we even want to call it a date) is childish. He started referring to me as his girlfriend, “seriously! is dating that casual to you, like it’s something you just get into because she’s got a pretty face and nice shape and keeps interesting conversations??? Don’t you want to know the more serious things about me first, you know, something other than the made up online impression you have of me”? And then, he moved over to where I was sitting and attempted to touch me! (it was okay to call the police now) It took my last calm nerves not to land it dirty on his face.
And It Only Got Worse
He begged for a bj, then to go down on me, then outright sex- he kept begging for things that shouldn’t even have been uttered. He buttered his phrases and made promises full of sugar and spice. He actually succeeded in disorientating me. Needless to say, it didn’t make it any easier that I was attracted to him and I eventually ended up giving him a bj.
Another Bad Decision
Am I a bad person? He left with a satisfied smirk on his face and gave me 1k for dinner that evening (I felt a disgrace to my generation). I used it to get mouth wash. Our chats stopped because suddenly he hardly ever came online, he never picked his calls and neither did he reply the numerous texts. About a week later, he called again and begged to come see me. This time I flat out refused! I was still seething with embarrassment from the last time, I felt like he forced me with all his begging and coercing and stolen touching. But he kept begging and assured me that it won’t repeat itself, (I already realized by this time that he has top notch begging skills, you just can’t say no), I eventually gave in and next day, he was at my place at 12pm sharp.
A Chance For Redemption
I was mid way through my makeup when he arrived. I had lectures by 4. The first thing he did was try to hug me and make a grab at my boobs. I wasn’t taking any of that nonsense this time, I am not his slut and last time was just one of my many many many bad decisions. I told him off immediately and he retreated. We talked about life just long enough for him to explain away his snubbing for the past week, then start asking me for a bj again, begging to suck and go down on me, asking for sex, making promises of how he’ll take care of all my needs and I was important to him and he was seriously in love with me. I just kept saying no and continued preparing to go to class. He begged for a long time, it was minutes to 4pm before his tone changed.
He started telling me I was disrespecting him, making him beg like a child, I was heartless and cruel and I should remember this day because he must pay me back in the way it will hurt me as much as I have hurt him. He kept on this rant until I couldn’t take it anymore. First, his silly talks and secondly, the smell about him which I finally deciphered to be the smell of cigarettes! He effing told me he was health conscious and neither smoked, nor drank. His excuse was that he smoked to kill the sexual urge. If stares could kill, he would have dropped dead right then.
On Self Respect And Lessons Learned
But it was a tentative decision making, he didn’t have to tell me, if I didn’t comply with what he wanted, he wouldn’t help me with what I needed, it’s a man’s world they say, I was just caught between the devil and the deep blue sea. This man, professing false love, smelling cigarettes and trying to emotionally blackmail me, I just couldn’t stand it. I wanted to hit him so bad, I was getting to that point where I get really pissed off and start barking like a mad woman, who did he think he was!? Has this been his plan all along!? Did he really look at me and concluded I was so easily manipulated!? I just wanted him out of my house right that instant and that was exactly what I did.
Maybe I was out of my mind or blinded by the desperation to get help or just plain stupid and reckless by letting him in the first time, but I was done and whatever wanted to happen, let it happen. I wasn’t in to be manipulated and taken advantage of. He was supposed to be helping me, not asking for sex in return, was I wrong to have trusted him?
As disappointing as the whole experience was, I did learn a couple of valuable lessons about men and about life, the most important being it’s never too late to make the right decision. Nobody can take advantage of me except I let them, and nobody should.