I Felt It Again When…
Babe suggested we move in together. Initially I said ‘yes‘, but now, I’ve got really cold feet. I hate to be a stick in the mud but the truth is, I’ve been feeling like I’m entrapped – claustrophobic. I feel like I’m being rushed into something I’m not yet ready for.
I don’t think I’m ready, I don’t ever feel ready for anything, so when will I be? I have this fear that I won’t ever be able to settle down because the seriousness and permanency of it scares me. It’s not just the relationship parts of my life, it’s everything, from choosing a hairstyle to buying a furniture, it’s not that I don’t like my choices, it’s the morning for the loss of all the other options forgone.
several times I come up with these ideas in my head that all center around me running away to some unknown place and starting a new life there with a new identity. I always get scared when things are getting serious – like chillax, why all the hurry? We’ve still got all the time in the world so can we please take this as slowly as possible???
I googled it out and found out the feeling is called commitmentphobia. Special announcement – yo gurl Mitchy is commitmentphobic!
And I know I’m not alone in this. Several others feel the tight rope around their neck when they are in a situation that requires commitment, it’s obvious to some, but not to others. You may be a commitmentphobe if-
- You have a history of becoming involved with or obsessed by partners who are emotionally, circumstantially or geographically unavailable
- You are very picky or have a pattern of fault finding
- You have a history of relationships where one partner wants more while the other wants less
- You deny access to parts of your world
- In your head, you always maintain psychological space
- Discussion of the future fill you with dread
- You start projects but don’t finish them
- You always feel like you haven’t found the ‘right’ person
I kind of feel weird right now, saying I’m commitmentphobic, like, it’s something that only happens to Americans right? It’s like coming out to say I’m a lesbian, it’s not perceived as normal and I don’t want it to be. But I also can’t ignore the jittery feelings I get when I’m asked to commit big time into something, adrenaline kicks in and the next thing, I’m running the opposite direction.
What do you think? What are your views on this? Do you know anyone who may be commitmentphobic? Let me know in the comments section.
The universe help us.