It means Hope

I met a young man of 23 years. His utmost wish was for his fourth suicide attempt to be successful. Shocking!? To some yes, to others it’s just stupid. But please, don’t judge yet. 

So many people are having it tough, rough and impossible, so many people out there really have nothing to live for. Please don’t even tell them not to cry because it could have been worse, it’s just like me telling you not to be happy because there are people out there who are happier. 

That being said, I too used to have an utmost wish, and it was to heal the world.

There are too many sad eyes in smiling faces, and crumbling hearts behind strong wills

I’ll sacrifice myself to change all of that, someone once said about me, that if love could cure cancer, mine would heal the world, and I’ve held on to those words faithfully because I believe at a point in my life, an opportunity would come for me to make a major difference to the betterment of mankind. So I continue to be unwavering and positive but the truth is, even me, I hit rock bottom sometimes. 

It’s okay to feel a little bit lost, it’s okay to feel broken, it’s okay to feel helpless, it’s okay to feel as if you’re at your wits end. So if you’re reading this and you are contemplating ending it all, please, don’t, yet. 


Where there is life there is hope, so keep trying, again. And again. And again. And if you get tired for that day, just lay down and rest to gather your strength for the tomorrow. Stay around what makes you happy, channel all that hurt into something – singing, dancing, writing, drawing, reading, cooking. Nobody wants to keep crying forever, we’re all a little bit lost and searching for happiness desperately, and we will get it. Just give it a little more time. Allow people to be there for you. Start with me, write to me, please. 

P. S

This article from Thought Catalog, though I read it 2 years ago, still resounds in my head. I’d love if you read it too. 

P. S. S
Dear readers, if you want to help, you could drop your contact details in the comment section so people in need of someone to talk to or lean on can reach you. Thanks a million for all of your supports so far, I appreciate you more than I appreciate a truck full of coke. Kisses. 


3 thoughts on “Esperanza 

  1. Going through this rough patch right now. Sometimes you just need someone to talk to but then see no one. Someone to encourage and tell you it’s not the end of the world but then you’re all alone. Fighting hard to get out of this state. Hopefully I would be better soon.


  2. 2weeeks ago tues it was a former coursemate’s birthday. And on a group whatsapp chat of all my former Uni coursemates, we usually ask celebrants personal questions and they’re obliged to answer. This guy was asked who he had a crush on back in school, and he mentioned me. And when asked why, he said he crushes on ladies that smile a lot.

    I have a permanent smiling face and you’d almost always see me cheerful. I appear Sanguine. I’m not. I’m not a happy person, and I haven’t really been for a long time. I know how many times i considered sliting my wrist but didn’t, and staying in the middle of the road to allow a vehicle run me over. But for God’s love.

    I can explain the feelings and sometimes lonliness cause a part and feeling so misunderstood. It totally helps to share, to actually unintentionally let someone else care about you. You have no idea what kind of relief comes from unburdening your heart.


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